Trauma is physiological. You can’t out-think it.
It’s an event that causes long-term dysregulation in the nervous system.
“Why am I always so anxious?”
After chronic and traumatic stress, the nervous system may not return to its baseline functioning. It remains “tuned” to excess fight-or-flight, and the vagus nerve is interrupted from bringing you into a calm and connected state. When you face future stressors, you respond with excess stress activation because your nervous system has moved away from its regulated baseline. This is not your fault.
“Why didn’t I say something or stand up for myself instead of freezing?”
Under traumatic stress, the nervous system can become locked into a state of high activation of the sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and dorsal vagal (shutdown) systems, causing a freeze state. It may default to this today, making it hard for you to communicate or take action when you’re under pressure. It’s not your fault, it’s your physiology.
“Why can’t I get over it or just let it go?”
Responses of the nervous system happen below the level of conscious awareness, in the survival brain. Becoming anxious, triggered or shutting down isn’t something you’re choosing – it happens automatically and instantly. If something feels familiar to a previous trauma, your physiology will move you into a state of fight, flight or freeze. You can’t talk yourself out of it or be more positive/capable/strong to change this. Again, it’s not your fault.
Shame dissolves when you see your nervous system is still acting in service of your survival, and your physiology changes following chronic and traumatic stress.
It may not be the best response for you to use today, and your nervous system may need support to respond to stressors and demands in ways that better serve you navigating life’s challenges.
When the survival brain is allowed to process what happened and recover, default strategies don’t get cued again and again. By teaching the nervous system to recover fully and bringing it support, it can return to a healthy, regulated state. This will change how you think, feel and the actions you take. You’ll feel grounded and at ease, and have more options when facing future challenges.
This is how you develop new neural pathways and restore the functioning of the vagus nerve.
You’re not stuck in limited defensive strategies that only rely on fight, flight or freeze. You can then recognise your nervous system’s survival responses early on and not be swept away by them. You can engage with it instead of feeling helpless to what’s happening. You can develop the tools that keep you better regulated under pressure or in the middle of conflict.
It isn’t your fault if you’re experiencing dysregulation from what happened in your past.
Your nervous system moves away from a regulated baseline following chronic and traumatic stress. It may need support to come home again to the place where you feel a sense of inner security and trust, and the place where you recover your innate capacity for resilience.
Returning to a regulated baseline is the essence of resilience, and can change how you feel in your body, how you connect with other people, and how you feel in the world. The key to this is bottom-up regulation that recalibrates the nervous system and allows the survival brain to recover.
Learn more in the two-hour Vagus Nerve Masterclass.